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Redeadk

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Joined: 03 Jul 2011
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re: In the Beginning and Remembering Coruscant Comments

Hey all,

If any of you have read the small amount of Jariel's story I put up today, any constructive criticism you can offer would be great Happy. I'd like to try to hone my writing skills, particularly with my dialogue. If I'm worrying over nothin, that's great, feel free to tell me my stories are awesome tongue out . In the likely event that they have flaws, however, I'd appreciate your comments.

Blessings,

K
Naandi

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Joined: 25 Aug 2008
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re: In the Beginning and Remembering Coruscant Comments

Really nice. I like how it explained some shady areas in the TOR lore. But these two parts were my absolute favorite:

Redeadk wrote:
I felt the Force Nexus that had been the reason the Temple was built on this spot. I allowed a small smile to play on my lips and croaked to myself, “The Force does not need walls...”


Redeadk wrote:
Over the next few months Jedi bled from Coruscant like it was an open wound refusing to heal.


You certainly have a knack for powerful one-liners.


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Redeadk

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re: In the Beginning and Remembering Coruscant Comments

Awwwww you made me feel all glowy...Happy. Thanks very much, really appreciate the feedback. Did you get my PM yesterday?


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Naandi

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re: In the Beginning and Remembering Coruscant Comments

Sure did! Just took me a bit to reply.


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