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re: In the Beginning and Remembering Coruscant Comments
by Redeadk on Jul. 15th, 2011 12:49 pm
Hey all,
If any of you have read the small amount of Jariel's story I put up today, any constructive criticism you can offer would be great . I'd like to try to hone my writing skills, particularly with my dialogue. If I'm worrying over nothin, that's great, feel free to tell me my stories are awesome . In the likely event that they have flaws, however, I'd appreciate your comments.
Blessings,
K
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Naandi
Joined: 25 Aug 2008 Posts:
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re: In the Beginning and Remembering Coruscant Comments
by Naandi on Jul. 16th, 2011 2:12 pm
Really nice. I like how it explained some shady areas in the TOR lore. But these two parts were my absolute favorite:
Redeadk wrote: | I felt the Force Nexus that had been the reason the Temple was built on this spot. I allowed a small smile to play on my lips and croaked to myself, “The Force does not need walls...” |
Redeadk wrote: | Over the next few months Jedi bled from Coruscant like it was an open wound refusing to heal. |
You certainly have a knack for powerful one-liners.
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re: In the Beginning and Remembering Coruscant Comments
by Redeadk on Jul. 16th, 2011 2:17 pm
Awwwww you made me feel all glowy.... Thanks very much, really appreciate the feedback. Did you get my PM yesterday?
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Naandi
Joined: 25 Aug 2008 Posts:
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re: In the Beginning and Remembering Coruscant Comments
by Naandi on Jul. 16th, 2011 4:32 pm
Sure did! Just took me a bit to reply.
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