Steel FalconSaint Jedi Guardian
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re: A Day in the Dark - Comments
 by Steel Falcon on Jun. 26th, 2010 6:08 pm
tell me what you think
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Jao ThaunOverseer The Last Jedi
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re: A Day in the Dark - Comments
by Jao Thaun on Jun. 26th, 2010 8:31 pm
That was pretty good, lookin forward to the sequal
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re: A Day in the Dark - Comments
by Mannymammoth on Jun. 26th, 2010 9:33 pm
This is very good in my opinion 
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Steel FalconSaint Jedi Guardian
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re: A Day in the Dark - Comments
by Steel Falcon on Jun. 26th, 2010 9:56 pm
Thanks alot guys I'm already working on the next part and I'll post it soon
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re: A Day in the Dark - Comments
by Protector_Z on Jun. 27th, 2010 8:17 pm
| Quote: | The grenade exploded somewhere in the air as Maxon and Falco both landed on their feet lightsabers drawn. On top of a nearby building a bounty hunter and an imperial agent had been waiting on the Jedi. The bounty hunter stepped off the edge and used her jetpack to land safely with her pistol blazing.
Maxon deflecting each shot waiting for the right time to strike. Meanwhile the imperial agent had Falco scoped and was aimed to fire. With quick feet and a little use of the force Falco raced towards the building and leapt up the sides of it from ledge to ledge to meet the agent at the top. |
I'm sorry, but did you mistakenly used Maxon's name instead of Shaden's?
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Steel FalconSaint Jedi Guardian
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re: A Day in the Dark - Comments
by Steel Falcon on Jun. 27th, 2010 8:54 pm
Yes sorry that's what I get for reading posts and writing my story at the same time, I'll fix it
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re: A Day in the Dark - Comments
by Reginox on Jun. 28th, 2010 3:51 pm
This is looking REALLY good! In my opinion lol.
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Steel FalconSaint Jedi Guardian
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re: A Day in the Dark - Comments
by Steel Falcon on Jun. 28th, 2010 4:07 pm
Thanks! I'm working on the next part and it's gonna have a slight surprise
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Julmay
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re: A Day in the Dark - Comments
by Julmay on Jun. 28th, 2010 5:03 pm
that is very good. you pretty much have me pegged with the wisecracks also. enjoying the story can't wait to see more.
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Steel FalconSaint Jedi Guardian
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re: A Day in the Dark - Comments
by Steel Falcon on Jun. 28th, 2010 6:47 pm
What does everyone think about the action parts? I have really cool fight scenes and stuff playing through in my head but I'm not sure how it's coming out when I write it, any advice or critique are welcome
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re: A Day in the Dark - Comments
by Protector_Z on Jun. 28th, 2010 7:17 pm
well, I think the action part really depends on your style of writing. I have given up trying to describe a fight scene in details. It takes too many words to describe just a couple of seconds and usually ends up confusing the readers. Think about hearing a UFC fight narration but not watching it. How well would you understand what's going on?
So I personally either try to make the fight a little more simple, or just give out the important details and let the reader imagine the rest.
_________________ What if you were locked in a prison you can't see, hear, taste, smell or touch?...
"Free your spirit"
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Steel FalconSaint Jedi Guardian
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re: A Day in the Dark - Comments
by Steel Falcon on Jun. 28th, 2010 11:51 pm
Thanks protector z, any more pointers I'm still open for comments
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re: A Day in the Dark - Comments
by Reginox on Jul. 3rd, 2010 5:17 pm
I just had an amazing idea of what your character's special attack could be.
FALCON PPPPPPPUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
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Steel FalconSaint Jedi Guardian
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re: A Day in the Dark - Comments
by Steel Falcon on Jul. 3rd, 2010 5:28 pm
| Reginox wrote: | I just had an amazing idea of what your character's special attack could be.
FALCON PPPPPPPUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! |
lol that sounds like a fruit drink with a bird mascot
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re: A Day in the Dark - Comments
by Reginox on Jul. 4th, 2010 1:32 pm
| SteelFalcon wrote: | | Reginox wrote: | I just had an amazing idea of what your character's special attack could be.
FALCON PPPPPPPUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! |
lol that sounds like a fruit drink with a bird mascot |
Seriously dude, look at what you could do to Sith!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OX_jsbdfc6Y&feature=related
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